The New Normal

My poor boys have had their lives upturned the past month, most especially the past week.  Frequent trips into town for a quick kid swap with dh so I could visit with Mom meant many evenings without my company (and my cooking lol.  I can’t believe they finally got tired of fast food.)  When Mom took her turn for the worse it meant entire days without me and dh as he stayed by me through it all.  There were entirely too many hours spent in hospital waiting rooms.  And then reality hit and grief set in.  At first I think they were truly sad because they were all very close to their Gran.  They actually sat in my van crying and refused to go in when we drove my Dad back to his house…they just couldn’t imagine it without Gran.  But then they rallied like kids do and went back to being their patient selves, playing their games and watching their shows while waiting for us to make all the necessary “arrangements.”  When they did break down I noticed it was only when they saw someone they always thought of as strong, grieving.  When my Dad, my brother, their cousins would get upset it would upset my boys to no end.  They have never seen Uncle C.J. frown let alone cry.

It’s all done now.  No more meetings, no more long days with relatives they will probably never see again, no more dressing up just to sit around.  We’ve all been calling these days “the new normal.”  Back to taking big brother to and from school every day, dh walking through the door in the afternoon, me making dinner every night.  Our first little “test” will be this weekend.  We always visited my parents on Saturdays.  Will my Dad still want to?  What will it feel like without Gran?  And then Thanksgiving.  The holiday where both my family and dh’s gathered at my parents’ house.  Sigh.